Saturday, March 29, 2014

All love lost.

Face down, twiddling thumbs, sweaty, clammy palms clasping each other, legs shaking in symphony with a pneumatic drill. Yes, Nilesh was a nervous wreck. He hadn’t rehearsed it, he didn’t believe in it. Nor was he someone who could come up with the most Shakespearean of lines in a flash to make her melt right in the corridor. He believed impromptu was the best and most truthful way to go about it. “What the fuck are you nervous for then, dumbass?”, Nilesh wondered, as he kept glancing down the hallway.

“ You’ve known her for a few months now. What’s with the hesitancy?”

“ Yea dude, but still.”

“ To hell with your But Stills. Just go and tell her already.”

“ Mmm Yea, I guess I should”

“ No guessing, do it man. You fancy her, you love her. Unless you say it out loud, you will be caught in that dark, desolate, distracting web of unrequited love. “

“ Mmm. Such fancy terms. But, What if?”

“ Oh Fuck your But Stills, and What Ifs”

“ Let me finish, dude”

“ Oh, there she is. Yes. Go ahead. Do it. DO It, DO IT. “

Nilesh, sweating like a pig and shivering inside, looked up. Piyali was indeed there, at the end of the corridor, walking towards him, with a couple of her friends in tow. There was a glint in his eyes, but an insurmountable jumpiness was taking him over.

“Oh Shit, This is happening. No, I’m not going to do this”

“ You fucking Idiot, you waited for this long. GO tell her”

“ No, No. No way. I can’t do this. Let’s get back to our den”

Just as he turned around to move his ass out of the place,

“No. You’re telling her today. It’s simple. Just ask her out. Just tell her that you fancy her, and would love to know more about her. It isn’t difficult”

“Oh, It is. It is. Just look at her man. She is perfect. I don’t stand a chance. She’ll probably laugh me off”

“ Don’t make stupid, pathetic conclusions. Tell her what u feel. For god sake, you are annoying me now”

“ Cmon dude, you can’t be serious. Look at her, she looks so fucking beautiful. And I, I look like a chipmunk that got run over by a herd of Migrating American Bisons.”

“ For the last time man, it doesn’t matter. You’re a nice guy, just tell her, man. You’ve got nothing to lose.”

“You know what. You might be right. I have nothing to lose. Thanks man. Let’s do it.”

So, Nilesh putting up a brave front, plastered his most confident face, took a deep breath, and turned around.

4 years later
“Hey Nilesh, what are you doing here?”, asked Piyali, with a dazzling smile.

Man, she is pretty, and perfect. Pretty perfect.

“Piyali. Good to see you. Nothing, just wafting.”, there was the same glint in his eyes. Things don’t change sometimes, do they?

“So good to see you, Piyali”, said Nilesh.

“Did you just say the same thing twice? You can be a hopeless idiot at times.”

“I know it, Nilesh. It’s always good to see me. Hey, I came to know that you have changed jobs a month back? Congrats man, I know how much you were brooding about it”, said Piyali, with that same bright, dazzling, genuine smile.

Wow. She remembers. She does give a damn about me. That feels good.

“ Hey thanks, Piyali. Yea, finally got a way around it. In a much better place now.”, said the “Caught in Piyali’s infectious smile” Nilesh.

“ Awesome. Alright then, I got to get moving. Work to tend to. I’ll see you around”, Piyali gave Nilesh a hug, and started walking away.

“ Tell her, man. At least now.”

“ Piyali !!”, Nilesh called out.

“ Yes?”

“Phew, finally. Good for him”

“ Nothing. It was good to see you today. Drive safe. Cya”, blurted Nilesh with a vain, little smile.

Piyali nodded, smiled back, waved her hand, and kept walking; oblivious to the unspoken, unvoiced, boxed love that Nilesh had in his heart for her.

Nilesh kept looking at Piyali walking away, till her shadows disappeared into the horizon. Then he stared into the emptiness some more. He gave himself a wry smile, shook his head and pinched himself on his insides, for yet another opportunity was squandered to let her know of his love. 

Yes. Things don’t change sometimes. And sometimes, they’re for the worse.